Right now my world is a mountain of deadlines, communications, and mental chess moves against an invisible opponent; a tick-tock applicable to both the personal and the professional channels of my obligations.
There’s much room for improvement in my response to said pressure (off the top of my head I know that the correct course is healthy nutrition/yoga/meditation as opposed to my old stand-bys of pizza/Netflix/Twitter), but the #1 priority in all this, as it’s always been:
That’s it. As long as I don’t stray in this particular department — because there is precisely ZERO room for error for me — I can slop the rest of this hot mess together into something manageable.
I’ll have more insight & reflection when I am truly ready to come up for air and write with some regularity again, but for now this is just a blip of an update. If I stop to think about think about this too long the mechanisms keeping it going start to break down.
I will say that a series of do-or-die deadlines & demands really prevent one from wallowing or whining too much — shit simply becomes mission-critical, and if a thought isn’t dedicated to survival or sanity…well it’s just freakin’ gone, man. There’s no time for crying, because every teardrop represents someone else out there who is hungrier and has less (or more) to lose than you.
In summation, I’m glad I’m alive and again, as ever, and always, I straight-up wouldn’t still be standing were it not for the steely loyalty of my support network. Love you all.