Not I

It was at about this time of the year, now 8 years ago, that I found myself in the custody of the local authorities.

After an enchanted evening of wintery drinking (re: mixed well liquors & the cheapest keg beer available), we had decided that the only sensible way to wind it down was to walk to Denny’s for some victory Grand Slamwiches®.  Which was roughly 2 miles from where we started.

After about a mile and a half of trekking, which included no small amount of hooting, hollering, and general misbehavior, I had decided that we weren’t getting there fast enough, and the only logical next step was to take a running start and tackle the nearest inanimate object.

That object happened to be this restaurant sign.

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 6.56.52 PM.png
I actually don’t remember if it was the “EXIT” or the “ENTER” sign. #oops

That feat of athleticism happened to be witnessed by the patrolling police officer, who was parked not 2 lots away.

Hundreds of dollars in legal representation fees & a court-ordered restitution to Pizza Hut for $75 later, my mother was furious with me and I had the first of many Notoriety Stories under my belt.

These are not the kinds of things you wish to become your legacy.
Grateful for the wisdom & insight that took years to internalize, but ultimately led me to a more mature & productive chapter of my life.

———

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 6.49.21 PM
Poor choice, pal. #FelonyFriday

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