As expected, a great many considerations (& now second thoughts) regarding my gung-ho attitude on picking up & moving into New York.
It’s basically down to: my heart is already set in another place…but my head is still rooted in reality. A reality that features an empty bank account, elusive “free time” to hunker down & job search, a potentially premature departure from a work environment that can yet provide me with invaluable tools, and the implications for my current roommate situation.
The worst outcome of jumping ship without a life preserver would be that I come to resent treading water. I’m more than willing to take on a “true” city lifestyle…but given the choice, why not ease into it?
I would “prefer” to make this transition as smoothly as possible, as it were. And I may actually just be fortunate enough to do so.
Of course there will be some self-sacrifice and some personal endurance to get there. But these are the times in adulthood when you weigh your long-term planned successes as a better investment than your short-term instant gratifications. Right?
Talking it through with my former college roommate over the weekend:
“Never keep doing something for no other reason than, ‘This is comfortable.’ That said, eventually you will make a choice in your mind, and you will build your way towards it.”
Talking it through with my younger (wiser?) brother over the weekend:
“Brooklyn will always be there. A good job opportunity might not.”
Talking through it with my current apartment roommate this week:
“Right, we are looking for different things. So I think it’s best we just look for different things.”
Suffice it to say this post is dedicated to me beginning the distillation process of thoughts-to-actions, paired with some sound advice from my board of peers.
If life is a constant, continual work in progress, is it ever really possible to find a definitive “point” or “meaning” to it?
Perhaps to focus so hard on the definition is to miss the point entirely.
(I’m fairly certain if/when fatherhood becomes my reality I will understand this meaning from a very different vantage point, but that chapter is far from written yet.)