Doesn’t have to be extraterrestrials or the supernatural.
I want to believe in the truth. A Truth. A truth in myself. Mexican Revolutionary figure Emilio Zapata once famously wrote, “I would rather die on my feet, than live on my knees.”
Perhaps my stance needn’t be so aggressive. I do, however, believe there is more meaning to be found in true hardships than there is in false comforts.
I have no interest in living a lie. Complacency in recovery can feel like a bit of a half-truth. For me, personally, no matter how I conduct my program it will always come back down to The Bottom Line: not picking up.
I was lying to myself when I was drinking. It was easy to pull the wool over my own eyes and convince myself that what I was doing was fine — especially since most nights I would absolve myself of “thought” altogether.
Being honest with myself is much more difficult. I do wish there were an ‘easier, softer way’…but alas, this is where I’m at.
Let’s be real for a second: there are much, much worse places to be than an honest intersection of your own thoughts & emotions. Grateful to be struggling with strength.