Today’s Lessons & Musings
- Went for just my 2nd jog since the wisdom teeth extraction. Felt very slow, but actually was pretty close to average time for what I had been at last month. Still, maintaining steady breathing with 4 less teeth in my head has proven challenging. As with the rest of life: our systems & processes, be they biological, mental, social, emotional, or otherwise, are in a constant state of flux & evolution, ebb & flow. Change? Adapt.
- During my rest period following said dental surgery, I happened to pick up Marvel’s Daredevil via Netflix (to note: The Wire is absolutely & unquestionably my next series investment, having had it recommended to me for YEARS by friends — and more relevant now than ever, in the wake of the recent riots). I was never much into the comic universes, but they’re doing justice to a riveting, dynamic storyline. There are great lessons in there about making choices. The choice to love; the choice to hate. The choice to destroy; the choice to save. I found a backstory episode particularly relevant to recovery: the world owes you nothing for the fact that you face & conquer your personal struggles. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on without expectations.
- Office workflow, as with the rest of life, has been non-stop & draining. I carry a great wealth of gratitude that it stays firmly separated from the zen of “home,” but equally do I foresee myself faced with a choice of commitment. Given that every day the task list of deliverables to other departments seems to only grow, never shrink…my patience, I think, may be heavily tested over the coming years. I yearn to tap into the creative branch of “Creative Services” and slide out of the service business, but with a staff of essentially 2 people this is no easy feat. But if intend to hold myself to my timeline of moving on in 2+ years, I may have to take matters into my own hands. Namely: conduct the service by day, and go creative by night — of my own volition. At least in part, anyway, to get some kind of momentum. Momentum, for long-term goals of any setting, is crucial at the onset — and to maintain it, once had.
- When the temperature goes from teeth-chattered to sweat-dripping in a matter of weeks, I really have to take a hard look at how much value I place on a Brooklyn residency following the Stamford. With every passing season more and more do I find myself thinking, “What? Why. Whyyy am I subjecting myself to this shit. I am straight-up not comfortable in my own skin, because nature.” The northeastern climate, it’s for the birds. It will be incumbent upon myself to scout This Great Nation for a habitable climate. Careful consideration to come over the ensuing years.
- Getting better at being able to think about the past, without coming totally unzipped. A clearer head, a (somewhat) more mature perspective, a better-informed worldview, a willingness to forgive, an openness to accept — all key players in this mental growth. It’s good to know.
Sleep awaits // goodnight moon.