Lane of Memories

Still surreal and a little mindboggling that I can so easily revisit my life (as seen through the lens of social media #GenerationNostalgia) as it was nearly 3 years ago, and even further beyond.  For as stupid, immature, foolhardy, and downright shameful as some of the choices I made were…looking back through shared photos & posted stories, I realize that I also laughed a lot.

A lot, though, because rarely could I be bothered to take anything seriously — including myself.  Apathetic nihilism is an extremely selfish worldview to adopt; even if you love others, your refusal to participate inevitably ends up concerning or even hurting those around you.

While I am grateful to have grown up a little bit and have since taken more accountability for myself, I’m still sifting through the past to find that little sliver of mischievousness, that innocuous playfulness, that got buried under the belligerence & the brashness.  Because I fear sometimes I have wheeled around to the other end of the spectrum, and take myself too seriously.

But in a conscious, proactive recovery program…success does depend on a degree of seriousness.

So how to manage both the serious and the not?  As with most else in life…balance.  Yin and yang.

Each has its place.  Knowledge is understanding that fact; wisdom is putting it into practice.

———

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

– Rumi

Shoutout to Sam for the Rumi.

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