A couple days’ hiatus from writing for traveling home & spending time with family.
That was really our big Mother’s Day gift this year — that she would have all her children home under one roof for the weekend, and that we would (without complaint) lend assistance with whatever she needed. Be that housework, yardwork, errands, you name it — we are here to get it done.
Just as she has always been, year in & year out, in all our lives. I couldn’t, wouldn’t be the man I am today without her guidance & her love. While the past decade had its rocky patches, she never gave up on me. I never felt “abandoned” — nor did I ever feel like I wasn’t “measuring up.” When dealing with a chronic alcoholic, that is not the easiest commitment to make.
For whatever choices I’ve made, for whatever passions I’ve decided to pursue…I never felt a pressure that it wasn’t enough; that I could be doing better. There are a lot of brilliant, hard-working men in my family — especially including my father. Whose work ethic I’ll never be able to touch — medical school was just not in the cards for me.
But that’s what I mean. Not once not ever did I feel like I was letting anyone down, by not following that path. I have always been allowed to find my own way…and I place a high value on that autonomous free will.
Age, experience, maturity, wisdom, and love. By these virtues I sense in my very being a hope that I can reciprocate all that has been provided for me. A pure hope — not because I feel like it’s what I “should” do; not because it’s “right”; not because others will “think highly” of me for doing so.
Simply because, it is. I may not ever fully repay all that I owe to my mother (because in a way, I owe my life).
It’s not the end goal that matters, though. It’s a commitment, and a consistency — just as she has shown us.
I love you, mom. Happy Mother’s Day.