If you rely on your chemical dependency long enough, you forget what it’s like to exist in the area outside of its control, aka “reality.”
It’s hard to come back from (objectively). It’s easier to stay addicted (subjectively).
It can certainly feel like that at times, anyway.
Hardships are not a reason to admit defeat.
Because ultimately, a free life trumps. You play the hand you’re dealt, but you can play it conservatively, or you can take a risk.
Doesn’t have to be an “all-in” risk, but the game is never won by simply folding every round until it ends — and that’s what you’re saying, when you’re an active addict. “I won’t play; I will keep folding and folding and folding and being unhappy with my hand but never taking action…”
Because ultimately, a free life trumps! That I even have the choice of what to consume, create, compare, contrast, contemplate…it takes balls to be an independent thinker. If you go far enough back in history, this sort of behavior got you killed (see also: other parts of the world [the country?] where this still happens, present day).
It takes even more gusto to follow those thoughts through to completion and self-actualization. Life is full of forks in the road, but only through trial + error do you get where you’re going. You can stop, or go back the way you came…why, though?
Brighter days ahead, but you’ll never see them if you’re not looking up.
My eyes may burn sometimes, but at least I got ’em wide fuckin’ open.