Practice What You Preach

Long talks with Emily today, about our lives and all the revolving doors that whirl around within them.  For as stable as I am in my recovery program, there are still so many nuances and uncertainties of adult life that I am just learning about.  My second year in Stamford is already showing hints of paradigm shifts on the horizon.

Nothing that worries me directly about alcohol, but this winter my emotions have been creeping up here and there and strong-arming me into unexpected mood swings.  The highs always higher, the lows always lower.  One of the very affirmations that was written for me by my peers at Tull Hill was, “I no longer let my emotions get the best of me.”

Well, I am a man who wears his heart on his sleeve.  Still working out if that’s a sustainable personality trait these days, but I can’t be letting my vulnerabilities do me harm.  I need to get back to my roots, re-center, re-align, re-focus.  With stability and comfort come projection for desires, and I talk a big game about detachment.  So time to move on it.

Grateful for the presence of mind to know when pulling back and using my tools is the correct course of action.

———

 

Black Eyed Peas on The View: great performance, or greatest performance?
In all seriousness, this song has a heartfelt message at its core. Can’t hate.

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One Comment

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  1. The longer that I am sober, the more resoundingly clear it becomes that I know very little. But the beauty is that I have the opportunity each day to learn a little bit more.

    Alcohol was my solution. Until it didn’t work anymore and then became a problem. When I got sober, the big problem that I have struggled with my entire life, life itself, was still there. And now looming ever larger because I was facing it sober for the first time as an adult.

    I practice the program of AA. It has made all the difference in my life, in terms of how to live my life on life’s terms.

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