This Too Shall Pass.
No matter what “it” is, it always does. Always. It’s a waste of time and energy to let emotions, especially the negative ones, dictate how your day (see also: your entire life) is going.
For example, I get frustrated when I don’t accomplish all that I had laid out in my mind for any given period of productive activity…so what? There will be always be more time. We have literally almost nothing but time. There are external pressures and imposing deadlines…but we’ll live. Setting out to write a cohesive/substantive blog post on a daily basis, for subexample. Not every entry can be a winner. Not every entry has to be a winner, either. As a writer/artist/creative, SO often do I look back on a published work and think, “Weak/lame/gross/terrible/cringe-inducing. Why did I put my name on that.”
The fact that not every time I put fingertips to keyboard does it result in a masterpiece is evidence I am human, and not some robot algorithmically pumping out cleverly-worded zenisms. This is what embarking on a daily writing itinerary is teaching me. Like, #DualityOfMan, man. It was my goal to update content every single day when I began this project, back in early 2013. I adhered to that regimen for a while — while I still had so many fresh and new topics to ponder, early in my recovery.
Then I reached a point where I had expressed a lot, and the wellspring of insight started to feel a little dried up. I slowly let it slide (as other parts of my life became more prominent, on a simultaneous scale). Even now, with many novel experiences under my belt since I first launched the blog, I still can’t help but feel that I reiterate many of the same underlying themes; they are just applied differently, to a shifted framework of constructs and experiences.
I think that says a lot about a good recovery program. Place an addict or alcoholic in any unfamiliar setting- foreign, challenging, upsetting, stressing, bland, intriguing, exciting, terrifying -anything. If their program is true, and they to it, they will always find their way back home. And I don’t mean back to a physical structure they recognize as meaningful. I mean back to the home inside themselves. Back to center. Despite chaos abounding, they will root down & connect to the emotional and/or spiritual solidity they know is there.
So yeah. Maybe everything isn’t hopeless bullshit.
Because even when it feels like it is, really what your mind is doing is making a temporary judgment call influenced by impending emotions that are fickle and fleeting.
Stay grateful, stay true, stay above the rest.