“If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.” Well, it seems the old A.A. adage works in the other direction, as well: I’ve done what I never before did, and in turn have been rewarded with what I never before had.
Two full years have now elapsed, since I admitted powerlessness and began my first steps on my journey to do something about it. To put that timeframe into a succinct context, I would say that Year One was foundational rebuilding & cultivating stability; Year Two was piecemeal adding/fitting of concrete blocks of life on top of Year One, and continuing to put distance between myself and my Last Drink.
My heart is full. Full of gratitude and love. Full of humility (the Ego, of course, remains ever-present — but still). Overall, I am “wanting” less. For me to demand that I need any one thing or another in order to feel truly happy or fulfilled would be a disservice to my sobriety and the work I have done in my recovery program. I happen to be so, so fortunate that right now, my personal struggle to provide bare necessities for myself is very minimal. There is no guarantee that life will remain on an even keel throughout (and/or only improve with age)…I have no desire to take for granted what I have in the here & now. In the present. Easy Does It. One Day At a Time. When stressors or emotions flare…This Too Shall Pass.
There are many improvements to be made, in terms of a wholesome self on the path to actualization…but it all starts with living above the control of a substance. Which, for me, would not be possible without the support I receive from my network of friends and family, day-in and day-out. Here’s to Two Years’ Time, and may they be replicated 50 times over in the future.