My poor, neglected blog…I have been trying (wherein “trying” = “staring at the words on a ‘To-Do’ list”) to write at least a short update for several weeks now, but as you may have been able to discern from my silence…
I. GOT. A. JOB.
There is an alternative meaning to a ‘prolonged silence’ here, and I hope I didn’t give any of you pause for worry that my well-being had taken a turn for the worse.
One of the local temp agencies I signed up with came through with a fairly basic contract right before Easter, so I started that week after. It almost didn’t matter what the position was; if the company was willing to bring me on, I would take it. I went in for the interview and it was pretty immediately apparent that I was well-qualified and probably even over-, but the hiring manager said if I was willing to jump in and take on the grunt work, the gig was mine.
It is a long-term temp position, extending at least until “the fall.” At which time the company will have its annual budgetary meeting, and the decision whether or not they ought to carve out a more permanent niche for the work I am doing will be made. This could go either way, but the more I dig in, the more I believe the odds to be in my favor.
When I accepted the job, it was billed at (20) hours per week. They needed a manual labor-temp hire to come in and help sort, organize, coordinate sales/marketing materials — in simplest terms, making sure proper files were printed & shipped accordingly as per the sales team’s meeting calendar. Not exactly thrilling, but also not exactly difficult. Regardless of task I was eager to work hard and take pride in having any job, so I hit the ground running. My manager was thoroughly impressed with my ethic and attention to detail, and within two weeks had requisitioned another (20) hours a week for me so I could work for him full-time, basically taking the spot of what would have been another temp hire.
Furthermore those extra hours are reserved for doing more “specialized” production-type work, so I’m even earning at a bit higher of a rate. Which is awesome. Even more awesome is how near-perfectly this position has lined up for my needs, both financially and personally in a workspace. My manager (the man who hired me) see eye-to-eye across the board. I’ve always been pretty adept at recognizing the best ways to connect with my superiors on the job, but I honestly can’t think of a single disagreement I’ve had with my current manager in the almost two months I’ve been there now. He has a degree in graphic design where I have a degree in communication, so our similar educational backgrounds certainly account for some of that connection. Beyond that we share many of the same tastes musically — and oh yeah did I mention headphone use is perfectly acceptable and even encouraged, depending on the particular task I’m assigned to?
Basically, this is a perfect “foot-in-the-door” position; really, exactly what I needed for where I’m at right now. I would have loved to work for the city planning and coordinating its major entertainment events, but I have an outstanding relationship with the members of my department here, and regardless of whether I am extended a salary offer in a few months, I will learn many, many valuable tech and software skills I previously did not possess. And it feels so. damn. good. to FINALLY be putting my specialized skillsets to good use again.
That’s not to say it has been a cakewalk, jumping into a full-time job. A large part of what is inherent to successfully completing the work I need to is “reading between the lines” and clarifying communication content, correctly interpreting varying forms of shorthand, or straight-up extracting crucial pieces of missing data. Which can be like pulling teeth, because more often than not people who are very good at one particular “thing” are not the best at communicating to others details regarding that “thing” in complete yet concise terms. So to mentally juggle an officeworth of that is nothing short of exhausting. By the time my day ends I can do little but come home and lounge, despite needing to attend to any number of life’s other requirements for health & happiness.
Meetings have unfortunately been one of those parts of my life that have taken a back seat, for the time being. However, as I am settling into a real, true, busy, independent routine, I am beginning to understand that, of my own accord and no one else’s because it is what’s right for me, I may simply not be an individual working an active recovery program who needs meetings to be a very-regular part of his sobriety. This is not to say I believe I am “over” going to meetings, and do not plan to include them in the future of my program. I still very much want A.A. gatherings to play a part for me. Lessons learned even in this early period of recovery are invaluable and life-lasting, and I find I am constantly spreading the message, in small ways or in big.
Just not at this particular moment in time. I am working hard at work, and focusing hard on my ‘self.’ Regular exercise, better diet, more sleep. A reading list for the summer. Soon to be going in on graphic design and music production to whet my creative brain. I have great expectations for the upcoming Connecticut season prime sailboats & sundresses, beaches & bikinis. I actually have (somewhat of) a real income now, with which to do real-person fun, responsible activities! Minus of course my back financial obligations such as healthcare and student loans. I think the contemporary American Dream might be to simply just get personal debt down to 0%, forgoing any kind of career or family aspirations (until the former is managed).
Aside from the new job there was also a move into a new apartment in there. Had the pleasure of renting/driving a U-Haul to move beds/desks — throwback to my days as a minimum-wage box truck driver for Bouncey Castle parties! That was another pretty hectic/anxiety-inducing process, trying to sort living arrangements. As it came down to it, unfortunately the best option was for Emily and I to split from our partnership in cohabitation, and find domiciles closer to our respective places of work. I am forever grateful for her open arms hosting me as a housemate for my first major move in my recovery, and for the ensuing safe passage it allowed me into a new city. I am even closer downtown now that I’ve moved, and settling in quite nicely. Despite the tax rate and obscene amount of Wall $treet dirty dollar dollar bills flooding these downstate economies, I am really enjoying myself. It’s nice here. I like it.
Well, as I have been saying all along: now that I have a full-time job, I will probably have less time/energy for long-form posts (obviously). So I will do my best to make habit of more-regular, less-wordy entries. Giving myself the caveat of shortened written content will encourage me to actually write on a more consistent basis. So keep an eye out, and expect more zen-based faith (or faith-based zen? hmm) to be arriving accidentally on time.
I leave you tonight with a paraphrased bit from an interview with the head coordinator of a music/art/avant-garde festival performance piece, that beautifully captures the essence of music as art and especially sharing it with others in a live setting:
“…we’re ready to go deeper; we’re ready to open up and become more truthful with each other. [We’re ready to] free ourselves from all the rules and regulations we’ve inherited from those who came before us that don’t serve us. I think we as society are so thirsty for that type of freedom and connection.
The original inspiration was to create a safe space for people to come and play and explore themselves, [in order to] find their true essence…to inspire people to be more free, to dance, and to connect deeply with one another. To give people a reason to speak to their neighbor, even if just to lean over and say, “Wow, that was cool.” I have always felt that we as humans spend a good lot of our lives feeling starved for deep intimate connection…you can have that with a total stranger in the middle of a dance floor: a moment of understanding, sharing a feeling without expectation, or attachment or judgment. You might never see each other again, but the energy exchange and the feeling of acceptance and closeness with a total stranger leaves us rejuvenated and charged. That’s how humans are supposed to respond to each other, with unconditional love and understanding.“
⇒ PS – 18 months dry as of June 3rd, 2014. ⇐