I Can See It In Your Face


I’ve been pretty lethargic the past two days (skipping out on both writings and workouts, and even a meeting).  So naturally it’s now Friday night and I’m feeling antsy and discontented after a lull in activity for a couple of days.  I’m finding weekends to be more and more a source of restlessness, due in part to the knowledge that this is the time of week when the majority of my peers are out socializing (or having other such life experiences).


I can’t really call it boredom, because I certainly have no lack of creative activities to keep my mind entertained/occupied.  There’s about a dozen books that I need to read, that I am very slowly picking my way through.  There’s a 2000-piece jigsaw puzzle on the dining room table I’ve made very minimal progress on.  I have plenty of writing to catch up on yet.  I have at least an hour a day of exercise to complete.  I have new music production/mixing software that will take me weeks to learn, and months to become accomplished in using properly.


I had told myself that moving home and laying low would be probably the one opportunity I will have for some time to really dig into my passions, as well as to explore new ones.  But after five months of essentially zero social activity with only minimal autonomy (and no cash income), it’s a bit difficult to stay in the moment.  I miss being among my people.  I was always drawn to the field of communication because it comes so naturally to me.


Not helping that today (writing has stretched from last night into today) St. Patrick’s Day is being celebrated all over.  Given the type of drunk I was, of course I loved a holiday that deemed it socially acceptable to begin imbibing whiskey at 9AM.  Even removing the alcohol context for a moment, though, I have had some truly great experiences on this weekend in past years.  There’s a hint of spring in the air; the youthful masses are out in force; everyone’s looking to have a jolly good time.  It’s not so simple as to just will away the yearning to be a part of that.


Learning a lifestyle that is at once sober and socially rewarding takes time, patience, and effort.  On the bright side, I do have a great event to look forward to in the coming weeks: on Thursday April 4th, I’m traveling to Buffalo with my sister and meeting a friend from college to go see Louis C.K. perform a stand-up set.  Louis is my favorite comedian out right now, and I’ve never seen a “professional” set before, so I’m ecstatic at the prospect.


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