Grateful Sunday #8: Walking Comfortably Into The Unknown

“One day at a time.”  If I can wake up and say with certainty that I will not pick up a drink in the course of that day, I can repeat the process over and over, day after day.  Sober days can turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years.  However, we cannot say for sure what life will be like then, or where we are headed to – we are only committed to the here & now.

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Thoughts of the future can churn into a wash of anxiety.  Dwelling too deeply on which path is the “right” one or what “personal success” should amount to will poison the mind.  We must take the solidarity & stability of maintaining sobriety in the present moment and use it as a steadfast monument to progressing forward in time.

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Remove any fear, for it is a manifestation of all the worst possible outcomes the mind can construct.  Be comfortable being uncomfortable.  We are so quick to mollify our nervousness with any number of distractions or falsehoods.  Awkward tensions exist for a reason; we are biologically designed to throw up our defenses when placed in new and potentially dangerous (re: life threatening) situations.

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If I am paying attention to what my body is feeling threatened or confused by, I can actually use that knowledge to my advantage.  This acute awareness of tension allows me to relax my mind and proceed with clear and logical thinking.  It is heightened further upon sensing anxiety or confusion in others involved in the particular situation or setting – for whatever reason, knowing that others too are scared calms my own nerves.

Soft, beautifully harmonic synth pads make this one of my all-time favorite Radiohead tracks.

So I know that I can walk onward aimlessly, without purpose, and everything will be alright.  Nothing is unattainable when willpower is harnessed and determination is solidified.  In the same token, I can be flexible and adaptive.  As is the natural course of things, there will be obstacles and landslides on the trek to the top.  I simply adjust & tweak, flowing around, through, and over them like cool water.  Heavy rocks will fall & land in my path, but their presence is not a sign to give up and turn back; rather, it is a sign to endure and persevere, to push forward.

F.E.A.R. – Face Everything And Recover.  I am grateful today for my chance to do so, and my resolve to remain unfazed in the face of an indeterminate future will allow me to do so, successfully.

Damn right.  One of my dreams is actually to own a pet sloth one day…I’ll know I’ve really ‘arrived’ when that becomes a reality.

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One Comment

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  1. Things that are awesome about this:
    -the recognition that everyone is terrified at the same time (we are all scared of something, always)
    -reinterpretation of a Buseyism
    -the dream (let’s call it a GOAL) of owning a sloth

    Keep doin’ your thing, dude. I’ll keep reading 🙂

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